Friday, November 9, 2018

James Diaz writes

Cara, May I Say

you've rearranged me quietly
and in the night
where i once ran barefoot and blind
i come to you years removed from all of that damage

i will not lie
there have been some people
in my life who have never been
happy to see me

they shook me out like a rug
till I thought love was only threadbare

most of my life 
I have been learning the difference
between my fault
and no one's fault

but - my time with you, time itself, you see -
she is always a shared creature, 
time, not enough time, too much time has passed
how we grow or sometimes fail to - one small bone into another
garden gadgets from some fallen world

I think I'd want only you standing in that light
at the end of the hall
called memory-is-fleeting
better grab hold of what you can

when I say: joy -
I mean; just this splitting of light
through a body 
I mean the fracture makes a thing more beautiful 
than perfection, I mean that I know you have seen things
you cannot un-see, 
are broken inside
like anyone who has ever lived
outside of a womb
long enough to feel what times takes
and what she gives

I mean that in between everything that gets lost
and found
there is so much
we don't we have a name for.

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