"I
was even further crushed when I learned that her mother had verbalized to Phoenix to keep me at a
far distance; that I would drag her down into whatever hell I was in. When I
continued persisting we needed to talk about it, she blurted out: 'She just
doesn't like you, ok? She knows you; she knows your type! You're a druggie. She
isn't stupid!'
"I was
instantly stunned with a blinding flash of pain, as if she had used all of her
weight to slap me across the face. I felt as if I was baring a scarlet letter
and I wondered quietly if other people thought the same of me, how many people
saw me as just a druggie, with nothing else behind it, nothing deeper
than this superficial label. Her mother wasn't wrong though. It was completely
true, that is what I was. This relationship was only cementing my
feelings of worthlessness and I hated myself even more than I ever had. But, I
did bring trouble into people's lives and whether or not it was intentional
didn't matter when taken at face value." ~Hilary D
Zamora
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