FROM DEATH’S SILENCE [part VI]
WEATHER
REPORT
Rain
spits on the cracked land,
enough
to tease shallow roots.
It
encourages manic thrust.
An
hour later, the sun returns
to
punish impetuous growth.
Its
rays stir ashes,
mixing
grass with sooty earth.
The
rest of the day is lost to desert,
those
winds that the Sahara sends.
FIGHTING
THE PRESCRIPTION
Words
slam against the roof of my mouth
before
my tongue can move.
I
try harder but feel nothing
except
a steel lid no words can lift.
A
desperate moaning below.
I
exhaust all my power
by
raising the lid a sliver.
Then
slide down a ravenous cliff
where
there is keening.
I
fall in darkness
thick
as sludge.
I
strain every muscle
to
reach the lead seal
that
caps my heart.
I
put my palm on it
and
feel a faint beat
which
I now record.
KEEPING
TIME
Calendars
are slow reminders
of
love missed.
Sorrow
is a day
that
never ends.
EPISTEMOLOGY
Communication
always goes beyond words.
Language
assumes structure, a temptation
to
falsify by a decorum of sense.
Thinking
is merely a grasping for patterns.
How
can I say the truth,
knowing
that language
cannot
contain it. Syntax
is
always referential.
Semantics
a matter of preference.
Or
habit. Or exasperation.
I
know imperfectly. And
am
known, not known.
COUNTERPOINT
My
wife keens again
now
in the bedroom as she prays.
I
woke this morning at 4:30
and
stared into suffocating heat.
Later,
I turned on a light
to
read Thomas à Kempis,
his
Imitation of Christ:
"Words
do not feed the soul . . . ."
I
thought of what I am called to do.
My
wife keens again
now
in the early night.
I
am in another room.
My
words fall on the page
like
sweat staining sheets.
WHAT
WE CHOOSE IS WHAT WE GET
Preference
matters little.
Service
is what counts.
We're
given a gold ring
before
birth and quickly lose it.
This
marriage is broken
before
we know the pain.
It's
divorce, not annulment.
Our
weakness laments the cure.
Even
so, the world shines,
leaves
twinkle in rain.
Exuberant
flowers and
rotting
bark alike
proclaim
rapture:
life,
death, life--
deeply
inhaled, exhaled.
I
live within the ring,
knowing
what I lost.
But
sensing only now
it
is within my touch.
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