Ryan Quinn Flanagan writes

Artificial Intelligence Happens Everyday

you don’t need computers

for that

but here I am trying to purchase a new laptop

from Dell

and they put me through to the fraud department

for verification.

Reassuring me that it is standard procedure

but I am not so sure.

The nice Indian man on the other end

has to repeat himself many times

so I can understand.

I still don’t

but I tell him I do for sake of ease

and hope for the best.

A large brown wasp flies up to the window

and tries to sting me

in anger.

He is closer to my hive then I am to his

so I get territorial, sting back many times

with my left index finger.

Banging on the window screen

as I am transferred to another nice Indian man

from sales.

Wasp -- WES21

Ryan Quinn Flanagan writes

Lake Titicaca

it is hard to think of a dumber name

for anything.

Except perhaps

anyone who names their child Adolf

after the 20^th century.

Those people must really hate their spawn.

There are a few animals out there that eat theirs,

and that would be kinder.

Fish low on energy will often consume their young,

so it must be kosher.

But Titicaca, really?

It sounds like a titty bar full of dancers

with the runs.

If I was naming lakes, we would not have this problem.

Your children jumping into Lake Adolf

right before you devour

them.

Lake Titicaca Golden Sun -- Didier Majoie

Ryan Quinn Flanagan writes

Dummy Companies, like Incorporating the Mentally Retarded

Sores fester.

There was an uncle on popular television 

named Fester.

More guidance systems than councillors –

almost a million-to-one.

The abacus will not lie unless you pay it to lie,

that is the spark plug behind everything.

Plausible deniability at a price.

Offshore accounts and offshore drilling.

Dummy companies, like incorporating the

mentally retarded.

And I put on my old lady’s nylons.

Hop down the hallway like the frontrunner

in a potato sack race to the death.

The lipstick smears still heavy

so that I smack my gums together

like banging a dust broom

against a wall.

-- Charles Addams
 

Ryan Quinn Flanagan writes

Water Damage is Just Liquid Revenge

You look up at the ceiling

and find something other than

clouds.

Water damage is just liquid revenge

best I can figure it.

We’ve done so much to the oceans and lakes

and rivers and creeks and streams

that you have to expect some

push back.

I’m surprised there is not more,

but then I am surprised by

many things.

There is a fine line between idiot savant

and genius

and I am nowhere

near it.

I once tried to hold my pants up

with a broken fan belt

to make my car

jealous. 

It didn’t work.

 

Idiot Savant -- Igor Postash