G. David Schwartz writes

I Can Hold Alcohol Better I

I can hold alcohol better

I mean I can hold more 

So a pick some up each time

I am at the store 

 

Martini and Olives -- Amy Giacomelli

Time To Relax -- Amy Giacomelli

I Can Hold Alcohol Better II

I can hold alcohol better

Now that I have age 

But I take some medicine 

With which I'm told not to engage 

Honor to the Alcohol -- Josef Vasak

G. David Schwartz writes

I Think Its Only Fair

When I was a kid

I couldn't wait to be

Old enough to go driving 

And, or to be married

But look at me now

as fat as a cow 

I wrecked my auto three times 

and occasionally my shoes I cannot find.

Ponderus -- John Weakland