Thursday, September 28, 2017

Akash Sinha writes



BEING CHESTER BENNINGTON


As I swing the glass door of the cafe open, the unintelligent collective murmur, smell of roasted coffee beans and a cloud of cigarette smoke rushes towards me. 
The name Chester bounces off walls while animated millennials speculate, the mute flat screen TV streams Linkin Park top ten greatest hits.

Somewhere below the noisy atmospheric sound blanket in the cafe, an icy cold hollow hits me, a zero decibel numbness that Chester tried to scream to the world but failed. 
Chester screams and screams but no one hears him, like the mute TV on the cafe wall.

The song ”A place for my head’ is playing, Chester drips sweat, spent, crouching on the stage, holding his microphone, eyes closed, he returns to being numb. In a sea of raving fans, blinding stage lights and guitar feedback he still manages to shut himself off, return to the hurt of the bruised kid he was, only to come back to the broken man he is.

It is surprising how much a man can hide under his black sunglasses. But as he once wrote: the little things give you away. No one observes until its too late.

Some itches have no cure, the more you scratch them the more they sting, and no pirate or rocker has ever been able to drown his loneliness or bury his head in the bottle. Chester was no different.

Underneath his tee shirt it always stung. How many photo shoots, red carpet walks, Grammys in the cupboard, fan autographs, stadium filled shows, whiskey bottles, antidepressant pills, multi-platinum records, divorces, rehabs does it take for a man to be called a burned out rocker?

How can a kind man love a million fans and not love his life? How does it equate to lose it all, win it back again, only to lose it all one last time like his friend Chris Cornell did? The crooners in the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame have always been on the wrong side of grey.

The sun surely sets behind Hollywood Boulevard like it always does, but not all late night crooners wake up the next day, some are dead by sunrise.

There are many Chesters in the world hiding behind computer desks, truck wheels, fast-food restaurant counters and foggy eye glasses. And like the late Mr Bennington they scream but can’t make a sound. They are trying to reach out to us in a silent protest. Will we listen? Or will we stand behind crime scene yellow tapes and continue to gasp and speculate trying to connect the dots after it’s too late.

No Mr Bennington. In the end, it matters. You mattered to us fans more than you will ever know.
Chester Bennington -- Vidhi Patel

4 comments:

  1. Chester Bennington was 16 when he became inspired by the music of Stone Temple Pilots and Depeche Mode. After becoming the lead singer for local Phoenix, Arizona, bands Sean Dowdell and His Friends? and Grey Daze, he joined Xero before it became Hybrid Theory, which became Linkin Park in 1999 (named after Lincoln Park [now Christine Emerson Reed Park] in Santa Monica, California. Their music has been variously described as rap rock, electronica, industrial rock, and nu metal. The band released its debut album, “Hybrid Theory,” in 2000, which became the best-selling debut album of the decade. Altogether the group sold over 100 million records worldwide and won two Grammy Awards from the Recording Academy; 11 of its singles reached the #1 position on Billboard's Alternative Songs chart; it was the first rock band to get more than 1 billion hits on YouTube. In 2005 Bennington formed his own band, Dead by Sunrise, as a side project, while his Linkin Park co-vocalist Mike Shinoda played with Depeche Mode, and in 2013 Bennington joined Stone Temple Pilots for a couple of years after Scott Weiland was fired but left again in 2015 in order to meet his ongoing commitments with Linkin Park. On 20 July 2017 Bennington was found dead, having hung himself in his home, two months after “One More Light,” Linkin Park’s sixth album, was released.

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  2. "A Place For My Head"is from “Hybrid Theory.”

    I watch how the moon sits in the sky in the dark night
    Shining with the light from the sun
    And the sun doesn't give light to the moon assuming
    The moon's gonna owe it one
    It makes me think of how you act for me
    You do favors and then rapidly
    You just turn around and start asking me
    About things that you want back from me

    I'm sick of the tension, sick of the hunger
    Sick of you acting like I owe you this
    Find another place to feed your greed
    While I find a place to rest

    I wanna be in another place
    I hate when you say you don't understand
    (You'll see it's not meant to be)
    I wanna be in the energy, not with the enemy
    A place for my head

    Maybe someday I'll be just like you
    And step on people like you do and
    Run away of the people I thought I knew
    I remember back then who you were
    You used to be calm, used to be strong
    Used to be generous but you should've known
    That you'd wear out your welcome
    And now you see how quiet it is, all alone

    I'm so sick of the tension, sick of the hunger
    Sick of you acting like I owe you this
    Find another place to feed your greed
    While I find a place to rest

    I want to be in another place
    I hate when you say you don't understand
    (You'll see it's not meant to be)
    I wanna be in the energy, not with the enemy
    A place for my head

    You try to take the best of me
    Go away

    I wanna be in another place
    I hate when you say you don't understand
    (You'll see it's not meant to be)
    I want to be in the energy, not with the enemy
    A place for my head

    Shut! Up! What!

    I'm so sick of the tension (shut)
    Sick of the hunger
    Sick of you acting like I owe you this
    Find another place to feed your greed (up)
    While I find a place to rest

    I'm so sick of the tension (what)
    Sick of the hunger
    Sick of you acting like I owe you this
    Find another place to feed your greed (stay away from me)
    While I find a place to rest
    (Joseph Hahn / Brad Delson / Robert G. Bourdon / Mike Shinoda / Dave Farrell / Chester Charles Bennington / Mark Wakefield)

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  3. Coincidentally, another leading rock vocalist/songwriter, Chris Cornell, committed suicide in a Detroit hotel on 18 May 2017, the day before “One More Light” was released. He had belonged to a cover band in Seattle, Washington, called the Shemps, which featured bassist Hiro Yamamoto and Kim Thayil; the three formed Soundgarden in 1984, and Matt Cameron joined as drummer two years later. Like most bands, the personnel changed over time, but Soundgarden became one of the most successful grunge bands. In 1990 he formed the grunge super group Temple of the Dog, which featured Cornell, Cameron, and future members of Pearl Jam, for a single album; as M.A.C.C. they recorded “Hey Baby (Land of the New Rising Sun” for “Stone Free: A Tribute to Jimi Hendrix.” Soundgarden’s fourth album “Superunknown” (1994) debuted at #1 on the Billboard 200. After the band disbanded in 1997 Cornell pursued a solo career while also replacing Zack de la Rocha in Rage Against the Machine, which changed its name to Audioslave; he wrote all the lyrics on the band’s three albums, then left in 2006 to resume his solo career; Rage Against the Machine resumed performing with de la Rocha. In 2010 Soundgarden reformed, playing and recording intermittently until Cornell’s death In 2016 Temple of the Dog reunited for a tour, but over the years they had performed concerts together, especially when Soundgarden and Pearl Jam were together on the same bill (Cameron became the Pearl Jam drummer in 1998); Audioslave reformed as the Prophets of Rage to perform at an event protesting against Donald Trump’s inauguration in January 1917.

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  4. Yes Duane. Both Chester and Chris Cornell have been my rock gods. Thank you for the comprehensive comment.

    ReplyDelete

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