C.b. Roberts

A Night to Remember

Your pictures scattered
On the bedroom floor.
I stand here trembling,
Staring at the door. 

Do I dare go in?
I know what awaits me.
Though it's a night I planned,
The pain overtakes me. 

A bottle of rum
To dull the pain.
Slumped in the corner
The tears fall like rain. 

I close my eyes
And let my mind drift.
Remembering when
And wondering what if. 

I don't come here often
It's just too hard.
The sweetest of torture
Always leaves me scarred. 

But every once in a while
I have to surrender.
Go back in time
And take a night to remember.

Frozen,
I long for yesterday.
What I wouldn't give
For just one more day. 

My glass explodes
Against the bedroom wall.
The bottle does follow
And it's your name I call. 

An overturned nightstand,
The bed on its side,
Do nothing to calm me,
I’m in for a wild ride. 

Consumed by anger,
Things I can't change.
Helpless and hopeless,
Feeling shortchanged. 

Like a madman, I destroy
Everything in my sight.
Needing to punish,
I need this wrong made right. 

I hate everything about you
I just want to forget.
Go back to before you,
Not knowing, no regret.

I hate your smile,
The way it's engrained in my memory.
The way it made me feel,
The way it always calmed me.

I hate your eyes
And how they would shine.
The way they lit up
When I called you mine. 

I hate the very breath you breathe,
The way it felt on my skin.
After a night spent loving,
Cuddling, we'd bring the morning in.

Yes, I hate everything about you,
You're everything I've ever wanted.
I hate that I once had you
And now I'm left feeling daunted. 

Your memory is always calling me,
Pulling me back in.
Demanding that I visit
What we were, and could have been.

A crumpled picture in my hand,
My rage reduced to a burning ember.
I've made it one more time,
Through another night to remember.