Robert Perchan writes

WHAT HIS STUDENTS WHISPER TO EACH OTHER AS THE FAMOUS

POET-IN-EXILE PROFESSOR DRONES ON IN THE LECTURE ROOM

Did he say “axes” or “Axis”?

Did he say “this weakened” or “this weekend”?

Did he say “elephant herds” or “elephant turds”?

Did he say “acute angle of incidence” or “a cute tangle of incidents”?

Did he say “carry on” or “carrion” bags?

Did he say “Belle Ile” or “Belial”?

Did he say “astray” or “ashtray”?

Did he say “Fortinbras” or “14 bras”?

Did he say “Baltimore Orioles” or “bald demure aureoles”?

Did he say “bushwhacks” or “bush wax”?

Did he say “Ulysses’ prow direction” or “Ulysses’ proud erection”?

Did he say “ferry got farther” or “faerie godfather”?

Did he say “beast pacific” or “be specific”?

Did he say “free climb” or “freak lime”?

Did he say “kohl-eyed” or “collide”?

Did he say “monkeyshines” or “monkish hinds”?

Did he say “lily woman skies” or “Willy Loman’s guise”?

Did he say “we’ve listened” or “weevils sinned”?

Did he say “a drama series” or “odd lamaseries”?

Did he say “vehicle warfare” or “fecal wharf air”?

Did he say “rows of cast steel” or “Rosa Cass Teale”?

Did he say “eight off” or “ate off” Hitler?

Did he say “so perfectly clear” or “soporific leer”?

Did he say “victorious egret” or “Victoria’s Secret”?

Did he say “Kiss me on my brow and part” or “brown part”?

Did he say “ghost wedding” or “goats sweating”?

Did he say “metempsychosis” or “Madame Psychosis”?

Did he say “fast divorces” or “faster horses”?

Did he say “Houyhnhnm roam” or “When in Rome”?

Did he say “takes off alone” or “takes awful long”?

Did he say “their snow buddy” or “there’s nobody”?

Did he say “nixed mutts” or “mixed nuts”?

Did he say “we intercede” or “wee inner seed”?

Did he say “Absinthe Thief Forum Flees City” or “Absent thee from felicity”?

Did he say “breastfed” or “best friend”?

Did he say “at stool ate” or “it’s too late”?

Did he say “pick and choose” or “piquant shoes”?

Did he say “Llama ready, move Easter” or “Lamarr, Hedy, movie star”?

Did he say “moused attics” or “Maoist tactics”?

Did he say “whore stealers taught her” or “horse dealer’s daughter”?

Did he say “sonic” or “chthonic” boom?

Did he say “so the Cid replies” or “Sow deceit, reap lies”?

Did he say “boy dowel” or “boiled owl”?

Did he say “game honey” or “gay money”?

Did he say “balloon blitz” or “ballroom bliss”?

Did he say “moustached ex” or “must hatch eggs”?

Did he say “we mentored ourselves” or “women toured arse elves”?

Did he say “though seemingly false” or “those Semen Leap Falls”?

Did he say “Dan, sing descants” or “dancing desk ants”?

Did he say “growing my take” or “groin might ache”?

Did he say “Roar, Jacques! Tess! Steve!” or “Rorschach Test Eve”?

Did he say “catch me out” or “cats meowed”?

Did he say “Monday night rubble” or “mundane eye trouble”?

Did he say “local anesthesia” or “loco Anastasia”?

Did he say “The Sky God who cares” or “this guy got hookers”?

Did he say “skin color” or “skink holler”?

Did he say “pinnacle of” or “pinochle love”?

Did he say “Aye, bid adieu to rest” or “I bit a dude tourist”?

Did he say “her suit commits” or “hirsute comets”?

Did he say “star droving” or “start roving”?

Did he say “Julius Caesar” or “Julia’s seizure”?

Did he say “Go Trump” or “goat rump””

Did he say “cervixes” or “services” rendered?

Did he say “sulfur dioxide got us” or “Suffer! Die! Ox-eyed Goddess!”?

Did he say “alpha genome” or “Al Pacino”?

Did he say “jocose seer” or “joker’s ear”?

Master John Banister delivering an anatomical lecture