Miss Carol's Dumplings
Every month or so
on a Sunday afternoon
I skip the football game
and get in my truck
and drive out from the city
into farm country
to visit Miss Carol
and get my hands
on her plump dumplings.
Biggest I've ever seen.
Best I've ever had,
terrific with her
legs and thighs.
When she lays out
her chicken dinner
on that white tablecloth
I start drooling before
I even get a hand on it.
A farm girl, she says
she's never met
a man like me
so nuts am I
about her dumplings.
Usually, she says,
men like breast meat
when it's moist,
and I allow how I
like that as well
but not as much
as her plump dumplings
on a Sunday afternoon
and her pluperfect
legs and thighs
on a Sunday afternoon
I skip the football game
and get in my truck
and drive out from the city
into farm country
to visit Miss Carol
and get my hands
on her plump dumplings.
Biggest I've ever seen.
Best I've ever had,
terrific with her
legs and thighs.
When she lays out
her chicken dinner
on that white tablecloth
I start drooling before
I even get a hand on it.
A farm girl, she says
she's never met
a man like me
so nuts am I
about her dumplings.
Usually, she says,
men like breast meat
when it's moist,
and I allow how I
like that as well
but not as much
as her plump dumplings
on a Sunday afternoon
and her pluperfect
legs and thighs
"Dumpling" is British slang for female breast. (Since the 1950s a "one-a-man" is a large round dumpling made from a pound of flour so that it can satisfy a man's hunger.)
ReplyDeleteA song about words for boobs, 99 words to be specific
Jugs and orbs and darts and gourds
Elmer Fudds and bouncing Buddhas
Sweater stretchers, lung protectors
Beach umbrellas, frost detectors
Scooby Snacks and snake-eyes dice
Jell-o molds and high-beam lights
Every day I probably use
99 words for boobs
Humpty Dumplings, Hardy Boys
Double lattes, Ode to Joys
Hooters, shooters, physics tutors
Bobbsey Twins and bald commuters
Double-WMD's
MRE's and PFD's
Snow-white dwarfs, Picasso cubes
99 words for boobs
Gerber servers, holy grails
Whoopee cushions, humpback whales
Flying saucers, traffic stoppers
Super Big Gulps, Double Whoppers
Pillows, billows, Don DeLillos
Soft-serve cones and armadillos
Pimped-out hubcaps, inner tubes
99 words for boobs
Midget earmuffs, warming globes
Strobes and probes and frontal lobes
Knockers, honkers, knicker bonkers
Smurfs and Screaming Yellow Zonkers
Tannin' cannons, Mister Bigs
Big bad wolves and Porky Pigs
Jogging partners, saline noobs
99 words for boobs
Two-point jumpers, Bambi's Thumpers
Rubber baby buggy bumpers
Rutabagas, Chi Omegas
Schwag the showgirls show in Vegas
Congo bongos, bowling pins
Fast-pitch softballs, siamese twins
And a partial alphabetical list:
ReplyDeleteAir Bags
Angel Cakes
Apple Dumpling Shop
Apples
Aspirins on an Ironing Board
Babaloos
Babushkas
Baby Buffets
Baby Busters
Baby Pillows
Balloons
Bangers
Bangles
Barnyard Boppers
Bassoons
Baubles
Bazongas
Bazooms
Beacons
Bean Bags
Bebops
Bee Stings
Berries
Betty and Wilmas
Betty Boops
BEWBZ
Bey And Jay
Big Boppers
Bigguns
Bikini Stuffers
Billibongs
Blinkers
Blorps
Blouse Bunnies
Bologna Bags
Bomboostas
Bonbons
Bongos
Boobies
Boozies
Bosoms
Bottles
Bodacious Tatas
Bongos
Boulders
Bouncers
Bouncy Castles
Bronskis
Bubbies
Built-In Stress Balls
Bullets
Bumpers
Butterbags
Butterballs
Candy Yams
Cannon Balls
Cans
Cantaloupes
Carumbas
Casabas
Cha Cha Bingos
Cha-Chas
Charlies
Charms
Chebs
Cherry Pies
Chest Butt
Chesticles
Chestnuts
Chi-Chis
Chimichongas
Chubby Chest Cheeks
Cleave-Conspirators
Coconuts
Cream Pies
Cupcakes
Danny Devitos
Diane Sawyers
Dingers
Dinghies
Dingoes
Dinner Plates
Dinosaur Eggs
Dirigibles
Don Delillos
Double Lattes
Double Whammies
Droopies
Dueling Banjos
Dumplings
Dunes
Ear Muffs
Eggplants
Eyes
Enchiladas
Fairy Pillows
Feeding Bottles
Flabbergasters
Flapjacks
Flappers
Flesh Bulbs
Flesh Melons
Floaters
Floatsy And Flopsy
Floppers
Fog Lights
Fred And Ginger
Front Bottom
Fruits Of Independence
Fun Bags
Funkmaster And Flex
Gagas
Gazingas
Gazongas
Glands
Globes
Golden Globes
Goose Down And Fiber Fill
Grapefruits
Guavas
Hand Warmers
Headlamps
Headlights
Hills
Hindenburgs
Honey Hams
Honeydews
Honkerburgers
Honkers
Hoohas
Hooters
Hottentots
Huffies
Humdingers
Jaboos
Jawbreakers
Jibs
Jingle Bells
Jubblies
Jugs
Jumbos
Kahunas
Kazongas
Knobs
Knockers
Kumquats
Labradoodles
Lactoids
Lady Bubbles
Liberty Bells
Life Ruiners
Lilyhammers
Little Rascals
Loaves
Loblollies
Love Bubbles
Love Melons
Love Muffins
Lucy and Ethel
Lulus
Lunchables
Lungs
Macaroons
Magumbos
Majumbas
Mambos
Mammaries
Mammaroonies
Mammoths
Mangos
Mankillers
Maracas
Marangos
Marimbas
Marshmallows
Mau Maus
Meat Loaves
Meatballs
Meat-a-ball-as
Melons
Milk Bottles
Milk Cans
Milk Duds
Milk Fountains
Milk Shakes
Milk Wagons
Missiles
Mogambos
Mountains
Muchachas
Mudflaps
Muffins
Mulligans
Mushmelons
Nancies
Nectarines
Nibbles
Niblets
Ninnies
Nippers
Nippies
Nodules
Nuggets
Noogies
Nubbies
Nugs
Nunga Nungas
Oompas
Oranges
Orbs
Ottomans
Pair
Pagodas
Palookas
Pantry Shelves
Papayas
Parabolas
Party Hats
Patticakes
Paula Abdul And MC Skat Kat
Paw Patties
Peaches
Peaks
Pears
Peepers
Pendulums
Phil And Lil
Pillows
Pinch Pots
Pink-Nosed Puppies
Pips
Pointer Sisters
Pompons
Pool Toys
Potatoes
PT Boats
Pumpkins
Puppies
Quarts of Love
Queen Jewels
Rack
Rangoons
Rattlers
Rib Balloons
Rib Cushions
Rocket Launchers
Rockets
Roundies
Saggers
Samosas
Sandbags
Satan's Love Pillows
Scones
Scoops
Shakers
Shebas
Shimmies
Shirt Saboteurs
Shmeebs
Shoulder Boulders
Silos
Ski Slopes
Skin Sacks
Smoothies
Smothers Brothers
Snoobs
Snuggle Pups
Spheres
Spongecakes
Spuds
Squirmy And Squealer
Stacks
Starsky And Hutch
Swanger And Banger
Sweater Meat
Sweater Stretchers
Sweet Rolls
Swingers
Tamales
Tatas
Tater Tots
Teats
Terrordomes
Tetons
The A Team
The Dream Team
"The Twins"
Tia and Tamera
Tidbits
Tits
Tittaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyysssssss-ah
Titters
Titties
Tomatoes
Tooters
Torpedoes
Traffic Stoppers
Twangers
Twin Peaks
Twofers
Umlauts
Waldos
Warheads
Watermelons
Whoppers
Wobblers
Wongas
(.Y.)
Yabbos
Yams
Ying Yang Twins
Zeppelins