Tuesday, March 5, 2019

Donal Mahoney writes


Miss Carol's Dumplings



Every month or so
on a Sunday afternoon
I skip the football game
and get in my truck
and drive out from the city
into farm country
to visit Miss Carol
and get my hands
on her plump dumplings.
Biggest I've ever seen.
Best I've ever had,
terrific with her
legs and thighs.
When she lays out
her chicken dinner
on that white tablecloth
I start drooling before
I even get a hand on it.
A farm girl, she says
she's never met
a man like me
so nuts am I
about her dumplings.
Usually, she says,
men like breast meat
when it's moist,
and I allow how I
like that as well
but not as much
as her plump dumplings
on a Sunday afternoon
and her pluperfect
legs and thighs
Image result for baselitz sex and dumplings

Geschlecht mit Klössen (Sex with Dumplings) -- Georg Baselitz



Geschlecht mit Klössen (Sex with Dumplings)  -- Georg Baselitz

 

Image result for baselitz sex dumplings paintings

Geschlecht mit Klössen (Sex with Dumplings) -- Georg Baselitz

2 comments:

  1. "Dumpling" is British slang for female breast. (Since the 1950s a "one-a-man" is a large round dumpling made from a pound of flour so that it can satisfy a man's hunger.)

    A song about words for boobs, 99 words to be specific

    Jugs and orbs and darts and gourds
    Elmer Fudds and bouncing Buddhas
    Sweater stretchers, lung protectors
    Beach umbrellas, frost detectors
    Scooby Snacks and snake-eyes dice
    Jell-o molds and high-beam lights
    Every day I probably use
    99 words for boobs

    Humpty Dumplings, Hardy Boys
    Double lattes, Ode to Joys
    Hooters, shooters, physics tutors
    Bobbsey Twins and bald commuters
    Double-WMD's
    MRE's and PFD's
    Snow-white dwarfs, Picasso cubes
    99 words for boobs

    Gerber servers, holy grails
    Whoopee cushions, humpback whales
    Flying saucers, traffic stoppers
    Super Big Gulps, Double Whoppers
    Pillows, billows, Don DeLillos
    Soft-serve cones and armadillos
    Pimped-out hubcaps, inner tubes
    99 words for boobs

    Midget earmuffs, warming globes
    Strobes and probes and frontal lobes
    Knockers, honkers, knicker bonkers
    Smurfs and Screaming Yellow Zonkers
    Tannin' cannons, Mister Bigs
    Big bad wolves and Porky Pigs
    Jogging partners, saline noobs
    99 words for boobs

    Two-point jumpers, Bambi's Thumpers
    Rubber baby buggy bumpers
    Rutabagas, Chi Omegas
    Schwag the showgirls show in Vegas
    Congo bongos, bowling pins
    Fast-pitch softballs, siamese twins

    ReplyDelete
  2. And a partial alphabetical list:

    Air Bags
    Angel Cakes
    Apple Dumpling Shop
    Apples
    Aspirins on an Ironing Board
    Babaloos
    Babushkas
    Baby Buffets
    Baby Busters
    Baby Pillows
    Balloons
    Bangers
    Bangles
    Barnyard Boppers
    Bassoons
    Baubles
    Bazongas
    Bazooms
    Beacons
    Bean Bags
    Bebops
    Bee Stings
    Berries
    Betty and Wilmas
    Betty Boops
    BEWBZ
    Bey And Jay
    Big Boppers
    Bigguns
    Bikini Stuffers
    Billibongs
    Blinkers
    Blorps
    Blouse Bunnies
    Bologna Bags
    Bomboostas
    Bonbons
    Bongos
    Boobies
    Boozies
    Bosoms
    Bottles
    Bodacious Tatas
    Bongos
    Boulders
    Bouncers
    Bouncy Castles
    Bronskis
    Bubbies
    Built-In Stress Balls
    Bullets
    Bumpers
    Butterbags
    Butterballs
    Candy Yams
    Cannon Balls
    Cans
    Cantaloupes
    Carumbas
    Casabas
    Cha Cha Bingos
    Cha-Chas
    Charlies
    Charms
    Chebs
    Cherry Pies
    Chest Butt
    Chesticles
    Chestnuts
    Chi-Chis
    Chimichongas
    Chubby Chest Cheeks
    Cleave-Conspirators
    Coconuts
    Cream Pies
    Cupcakes
    Danny Devitos
    Diane Sawyers
    Dingers
    Dinghies
    Dingoes
    Dinner Plates
    Dinosaur Eggs
    Dirigibles
    Don Delillos
    Double Lattes
    Double Whammies
    Droopies
    Dueling Banjos
    Dumplings
    Dunes
    Ear Muffs
    Eggplants
    Eyes
    Enchiladas
    Fairy Pillows
    Feeding Bottles
    Flabbergasters
    Flapjacks
    Flappers
    Flesh Bulbs
    Flesh Melons
    Floaters
    Floatsy And Flopsy
    Floppers
    Fog Lights
    Fred And Ginger
    Front Bottom
    Fruits Of Independence
    Fun Bags
    Funkmaster And Flex
    Gagas
    Gazingas
    Gazongas
    Glands
    Globes
    Golden Globes
    Goose Down And Fiber Fill
    Grapefruits
    Guavas
    Hand Warmers
    Headlamps
    Headlights
    Hills
    Hindenburgs
    Honey Hams
    Honeydews
    Honkerburgers
    Honkers
    Hoohas
    Hooters
    Hottentots
    Huffies
    Humdingers
    Jaboos
    Jawbreakers
    Jibs
    Jingle Bells
    Jubblies
    Jugs
    Jumbos
    Kahunas
    Kazongas
    Knobs
    Knockers
    Kumquats
    Labradoodles
    Lactoids
    Lady Bubbles
    Liberty Bells
    Life Ruiners
    Lilyhammers
    Little Rascals
    Loaves
    Loblollies
    Love Bubbles
    Love Melons
    Love Muffins
    Lucy and Ethel
    Lulus
    Lunchables
    Lungs
    Macaroons
    Magumbos
    Majumbas
    Mambos
    Mammaries
    Mammaroonies
    Mammoths
    Mangos
    Mankillers
    Maracas
    Marangos
    Marimbas
    Marshmallows
    Mau Maus
    Meat Loaves
    Meatballs
    Meat-a-ball-as
    Melons
    Milk Bottles
    Milk Cans
    Milk Duds
    Milk Fountains
    Milk Shakes
    Milk Wagons
    Missiles
    Mogambos
    Mountains
    Muchachas
    Mudflaps
    Muffins
    Mulligans
    Mushmelons
    Nancies
    Nectarines
    Nibbles
    Niblets
    Ninnies
    Nippers
    Nippies
    Nodules
    Nuggets
    Noogies
    Nubbies
    Nugs
    Nunga Nungas
    Oompas
    Oranges
    Orbs
    Ottomans
    Pair
    Pagodas
    Palookas
    Pantry Shelves
    Papayas
    Parabolas
    Party Hats
    Patticakes
    Paula Abdul And MC Skat Kat
    Paw Patties
    Peaches
    Peaks
    Pears
    Peepers
    Pendulums
    Phil And Lil
    Pillows
    Pinch Pots
    Pink-Nosed Puppies
    Pips
    Pointer Sisters
    Pompons
    Pool Toys
    Potatoes
    PT Boats
    Pumpkins
    Puppies
    Quarts of Love
    Queen Jewels
    Rack
    Rangoons
    Rattlers
    Rib Balloons
    Rib Cushions
    Rocket Launchers
    Rockets
    Roundies
    Saggers
    Samosas
    Sandbags
    Satan's Love Pillows
    Scones
    Scoops
    Shakers
    Shebas
    Shimmies
    Shirt Saboteurs
    Shmeebs
    Shoulder Boulders
    Silos
    Ski Slopes
    Skin Sacks
    Smoothies
    Smothers Brothers
    Snoobs
    Snuggle Pups
    Spheres
    Spongecakes
    Spuds
    Squirmy And Squealer
    Stacks
    Starsky And Hutch
    Swanger And Banger
    Sweater Meat
    Sweater Stretchers
    Sweet Rolls
    Swingers
    Tamales
    Tatas
    Tater Tots
    Teats
    Terrordomes
    Tetons
    The A Team
    The Dream Team
    "The Twins"
    Tia and Tamera
    Tidbits
    Tits
    Tittaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyysssssss-ah
    Titters
    Titties
    Tomatoes
    Tooters
    Torpedoes
    Traffic Stoppers
    Twangers
    Twin Peaks
    Twofers
    Umlauts
    Waldos
    Warheads
    Watermelons
    Whoppers
    Wobblers
    Wongas
    (.Y.)
    Yabbos
    Yams
    Ying Yang Twins
    Zeppelins

    ReplyDelete

Join the conversation! What is your reaction to the post?