The Book of Tiny Revelations
1.
It was my Dad’s
fault. I don't remember much
about the car
that hit ours - totally his fault - but
the couple
inside were middle-aged, and each
had the look of
one who'd spent the night
on a friend's
couch, something I noticed
in the
aftermath; all of us on the side
of the road,
wearing coats like corn husks,
mouths open,
palms out. (It really happened
in the heat of
summer, but winter is memory’s
season for car
accidents.) I know this.
2.
Our wheel on the
driver's side hits gravel
and snow - at
this point, it's been a long time
since we
crossed the yellow median. My Dad
has been
gripping the dash for years, gritting
his teeth for
centuries, and the trespasses
of my driving -
let’s be honest - date back
to the
Crucifixion. Needless, it’s been a long wait
on this
precipice together, and it will be a while yet
before the
car’s undercarriage makes contact
with the far
side of the ditch, and our dogs
are launched
headfirst over the backrests,
and my hot
chocolate rises from my cup
in the form of
zero-gravity globules; I
confuse it all
for my blood.
3.
I am sixteen, a
social outcast in the most
un-Hollywood
ways; neither brave nor hygienic,
(a John Hughes
film with grimy teeth and body
odour); I will
never appear in the Technicolor section
of any
yearbook. My father - like myself,
but with
chutzpah, charisma and a steak-knife
in his bureau
drawer - settles the matter of the two cars
in the ditch by
turning stones into warm bread.
Well, what am I gonna do with this
kid,
beat him? He talks, he kneads, with his hands.
Our cars
are pulled onto
the road. They're having an affair,
Dad winks
devilishly. It takes me another
twenty minutes
to understand why no one's called
the police. I
am the Lamb of God.
4.
In my life,
there must have been a moment when
I realized what
exactly Mary Magdalene did
for a living,
but I don't remember; it was something
that caused my
mother to click her tongue
as she loaded
the oven. Christmas TV specials
always showed
chubby Southern Italian men
sneaking from
Mary's tawdry little shack. Now
I think of
those men who first wrote her up
as such; a
gaggle of pimpled virgins (hostile
shrivelled
penises under silk robes) in a room
not unlike
Wilma Flinstone's kitchen. The Messiah
would never have such relations! They announce,
hands clutching
skywards, their fingers two thousand
years shy of
the stock and grip of an AK47
(You, my boy,
are very special; you are
God's one and
only).
5.
Jesus’ wife has
been throwing forgotten articles
of clothing
down onto the bald heads
of shame-faced
men for centuries, but don't
tell the Son of
Man. At 16, I am Him, a lamb
on the side of
the road, palms open. My father
is in the
details. They’re having an affair,
he whispers.
And with that, if anything, come
my first doubts
- mortal ones - about Kingdom come,
the white horse
my mother promised
and my chances
of becoming Prime Minister.
Wilma Flintstone -- William Hanna & Joseph Barbera
Wilma Flintstone was the wife of caveman Fred Flintstone in the Hanna-Barbera animated TV series "The Flintstones," which aired in prime time from 1960 to 1966 and was then syndicated until 1997 before becoming a staple on cable television. Jean Vander Pyl provided her voice, and Kenneth Muse provided the animation. "Wilma" means "resolute protector."
ReplyDeleteMary Magdalene (probably from Magdala on the Sea of Galillee) was one of Jesus' followers who witnessed his crucifixion and burial, the 1st to witness that his tomb was empty, and the 1st to testify to his resurrection, so she became known as the "apostle to the apostles." In 591 pope Gregorius I conflated with both Mary of Bethany and with an unnamed "sinful woman" who annointed Jesus' feet, thus acquiring a reputation as a repentant prostitute. In the early centuries after the death of Jesus she was also the subject of many Gnostic writings that claimed to reveal secret, esoteric teachings, of which she was the one who best understood them. In the 3rd-century Coptic "Gospel of Philip," in particular, she was regarded as a model of gnosticism due to her femininity. She was described as the "koinonos" of Jesus -- the word had a range of meanings, from "companion" to "spouse." According to the manuscript, "As for Wisdom who is called "the barren", she is the mother [of the] angels. And the companion of the [...] Mary Magdalene. [... loved] her more than [all] the disciples [and used to] kiss her [often] on her [...]. The rest of [the disciples...] They said to him, "Why do you love her more than all of us?" The Savior answered and said to them, "Why do I not love you like her? When a blind man and one who sees are both together in the darkness, they are no different from one another. When the light comes, then he who sees will see the light, and he who is blind will remain in darkness." The book ends, "if anyone becomes a 'son of the bridechamber' he will receive the Light.... It is revealed to him alone, since it is not hidden in darkness and night but is hidden in a perfect Day and a holy Night." These obscure passages led to the pernsistent belief that Jesus and Mary were marrie
John Hughes was an American filmmaker best known for his comedies such as the "National Lampoon" series (1983-1989), "The Breakfast Club" (1985), "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" (1986), "Planes, Trains and Automobiles" (1987), and "Home Alone" (1990). After dropping out of university he sold jokes to well-known comedians and then worked in advertising before writing for the satirical "National Lampoon" magazine; his 1st story was "Vacation '58," which became the basis for the later "Vacation" films.
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