Friday, March 23, 2018

Lauren Scharhag writes


Retconning



When you proposed, I was bemused. But I accepted,
Just because I wanted to see what would happen.
When two people’s loneliness dovetails as neatly as ours
It feels like fate that they should interlock



And become the thing that holds them up. Had I known Star Trek
Was the only shred of pop cultural knowledge in your arsenal,
I would’ve refused. I tried to tell myself it was a charming quirk,
Like your dusty, obscure volumes



Marked in grease pencil, your Boris Karloff,
And your salt tooth. “Klingon is a beautiful language,” you assured me.
So we got married in a Klingon ceremony during rerun season,
In the flickering black-white hour of late night TV,



A perfect and perfectly unholy union:
Dreamer and dream-caster. At the reception, 
We served earwigs, and hot pretzels with ridged brown faces,
And a tower of liver-and-onion sandwiches,



And played Cornhole. If you believe hard enough, it will be so.
If you believe yourself the strongest in all of creation,
It will be so. Practitioner of moQbara,
Sporter of epic facial hair,



A being of honor and steel. But I tell you,
You’re just reality-challenged. Though, I ain’t gonna lie,
You really do have an ugly forehead.
I’m the one who, with a touch,



Will destroy heaven, and actually record
Its dying emanations. Or that could just be the heat stroke talking.
You in your many layers, and me,
Unable to strip anything else off.



Showing bone is unladylike, unless it’s the jutting bones
At collar and hip, to demonstrate my self-mastery,
Which, I think we can both agree, is the only real beauty.
In the winter, the snowbirds trundle south,



And I go with them. But where do the southerners go?
Where do the southern-blooded like you go?
“We become mummies,” you say, “Addicted to our bandages,
Our warm, dry places, and our darkness.



We curse any who dare disturb us.”
But somehow, instead of entombed in the desert,
You ended up landlocked in ice, a woolly mammoth,
And just as obsolete,



While I’m so perilously close to the equator,
Sweating it out under the scowling Gre-Thor sun.
I don't know what's real anymore, either.
In an infinite number of possible worlds,



Surely, somewhere, this is all real.
Surely, somewhere, God is real, and alive.
If not, I will resurrect Him so He can tell you,
In a Jean-Luc voice, “For My sake,



Take off the damn bandages.”
The eyes of the dead warrior are open.
You don’t have to shield yourself from this sadness.
The sadness of living in a resort town in the off-season,



When the shabbiness shows, the decaying stucco,
The dinge. So many shops on the boardwalk shuttered,
The scent of cotton candy and funnel cakes
Fading from memory. Only the seaweed air prevails.



But I’m sure you’d tell me it’s something else, something fantastical.
I’m too exhausted to think of an example at the moment.
The end of the world, probably.
But still, I wanted to ask you,



Do you think we’re the bit players in someone else's dream?
Do you think we’re the bit players in someone else’s
Gene Rodenberry dream? Tying the knot
While the world burned around us,



Incendiary offering to our dark joy,
Everything terrible in you connects to the terrible in me.
Alone on the boardwalk, my back to your Kronos sun,
I wonder, does anyone still love me at this late hour?
UPDATE: Star Trek's Worf by ~Elvandia on deviantART
 Star Trek's Worf -- Elvandia

5 comments:

  1. Retcon (a neologism for “retroactive continuity”) is a literary device in which details in a fictional work are adjusted, ignored, or contradicted by a subsequent work which breaks continuity with the former; sometimes, rather than contradicting previously established facts, they fill in missing background details. As a literary term it was coined in 1983 by comic book fandom: DC Comics’ “All-Star Squadron”was set on Earth-Two, the name given to the world in which World War II characters lived, distinct from Earth-One’s contemporary revivals of those characters. Each issue changed the history of the fictional world in which it was set. In the letters column of #18 (February 1983) author Roy Thomas reported that an attendee at a Creation Convention in San Diego, California, had used the phrase “Retroactive Continuity” to describe the device. Five years later Damian Cugley used “retcon” for the 1st time, in 1988 on Usenet. However, the 1st appearance of the phrase "retroactive continuity" was in 1973 in a theological context, when E. Frank Tupper used it to describe Wolfhart Pannenberg’s concept “that history flows fundamentally from the future into the past, that the future is not basically a product of the past."
    William Henry Pratt came from a family of British diplomats who abandoned his own studies in the area by dropping out of King's College London in 1909. He moved to Canada and eventually became an actor, taking the stage name “Boris Karloff” by 1912. He made dozens of silent films, but he had to supplement his income by doing manual labor. In his 81st movie role he was cast as Frankenstein’s monster in James Whale’s “Frankenstein” in 1931, establishing himself as one of the industry’s leading actors in horror films.

    A “salt tooth” is a craving for salty foods, caused by a certain variation of a gene called TAS2R48. It also enhances the perception of bitterness. It is hypothesized that people with the gene use sodium to mask the bitter taste of foods such as broccoli and dark, leafy greens.

    A snowbird is a North American term for a person who migrates from the colder climates of the northern United States and Canada southward in the winter to warmer locales, or for a Canadian who resides in the US for tax reasons.

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  2. Gene Rodenberry was the creator of the TV series “Star Trek.” In 1964 he began to develop the idea, and 79 episodes aired from 1966 to 1969 before it was cancelled due to low ratings. However, the show had garnered tremendous fan support, and the series consistently attracted large audiences in syndication. The 2nd Star Trek convention, in New York in 1973, attracted 6,000 attendees, and the 3rd one, in 1974, drew 15,000, dwarfing the interest in similar events such as the 32nd World Science Fiction Convention that year, which only had 4,500 fans. The phenomenon led to an animated “Star Trek” series that lasted 2 seasons (1973-1974), which won an Emmy Award from the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences and also became a success in reruns. In 1975 Roddenberry was hired to develop a new series, but the project evolved into “Star Trek: The Motion Picture” released in 1979. Its success led to a dozen more movies (so far), 5 additional TV spin-off series, and numerous books, games, and toys. Screenwriter Gene L. Coon introduced the Klingons in the episode "Errand of Mercy" in 1967, named after a lieutenant whom Roddenberry had served with in the Los Angeles Police Department. Coons described them as “oriental" and "hard-faced" humanoids characterized mainly by prideful ruthlessness and brutality. They became recurring characters who appeared in all 5 spin-off series and 10 of the movies. For “Star Trek: The Motion Picture” their appearance and behavior were retconned: They were depicted with ridged foreheads, prominent snaggled teeth, and belonging to a militaristic culture with honor at the forefront, reminiscent of Japan’s samurai. The release of the 2nd television series, “Star Trek: The Next Generation,” prompted a further revision. Makeup artist Michael Westmore cut the designs of dinosaur vertebrae in half and modified them to suit each Klingon and modeled their beards after Elizabethan examples. The regular Klingon member of the cast was named Worf (played by Michael Dorn), who also had continuing roles in the series “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine” and 4 of the films. The lead role was Captain Jean-Luc Picard, portrayed by Sir Patrick Stewart. For “Star Trek III: The Search for Spock,” linguist Marc Okrand developed a complete Klingon language; he published “The Klingon Dictionary” in 1985, produced 2 audio-courses, and co-authored a Klingon opera libretto. William Shakespeare’s works and parts of the Bible have been translated into Klingon, making it the world's most popular fictional language (as measured by number of speakers). MoQbara is a form of Klingon martial arts similar to meditation, since both techniques clear the mind; the forms resemble tai chi chuan. Gre'thor is a star system with a K-class star in the Beta Quadrant, the Klingon equivalent of Hell, where the souls of the dishonored went. Its insignia is an inverted emblem of the Klingon Empire. In the game “Star Trek: Armada” when Klingon ships are ordered to attack an enemy the commanders intone, "Gre'thor will be paved with their ashes." Also in the Beta Quadrant, Qo'noS (also known as Kling, and transliterated as Kronos in English), the Klingon homeworld and the capital of their empire, is an inhabited class M planet in the Qo'noS system, less than 90 light years from Earth. The Klingon death chant is, "Only Qo'noS endures."

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  3. Cornhole (or bean bag toss, baggo, bags, dummy boards, dadhole, doghouse, sack toss, bean sack) is a lawn game in which players take turns throwing bags of corn (or bean bags) at a raised platform with a hole in the far end. A bag in the hole scores 3 points, while one on the platform scores 1 point. Play continues until a team or player reaches or exceeds the score of 21. The game is nearly the same as the described in Heyliger de Windt's 1883 patent for "Parlor Quoits." (Quoits is played by throwing metal discs at a metal spike. Quoits (koits, kwoits, kwaits) is a traditional game which involves the throwing of metal, rope, or rubber rings over a set distance, usually to land over or near a spike called a hob, mott or pin). De Windt's patent was one of several "parlor quoits" patents that sought to recreate the game in an indoor environment; his was the first to use bean-bags and a slanted board with a hole as the target. He sold the rights to a Massachusetts toy manufacturer that marketed it as Faba Baga. Unlike the modern game, which has 1 hole and 1 size of bags, a Faba Baga board had 2 different-sized holes, worth different point values, and provided each player with an extra-large bag per round, which scored double points.

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  4. Thanks for sharing my poem, Duane! This poem also previously appeared in Ramingo's Porch.

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  5. Cornhole is also a slang vulgarism for anus. The term came into use in the 1910s in the US, apparently derived from the use of dried corn cobs as toilet paper. "To cornhole," meaning to have anal sex, came into usage in the 1930s. According to a 1944 report on same-sex prison rape, the term specifically meant taking the penetrative role in anal sex. In a similar context, a "corn husk" is a condom, specially one manufactured for anal intercourse.

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