“Multiply. Be fruitful.” And God gave man a tool. But
Eve, she conceived and brought forth the slide rule. Before ever we knew what
old Galle saw, we arranged us our love life by Bode’s own law. It really did
pain us to get past Uranus and let Neptune discover us our flaw.
A sexy realtor from Nice quoted me her terms for a
piece. When I found out her price I told her, “Au regretment, no dice.”
(I wasn’t looking to buy, just lease.) I met a pedantic old whore from Bombay
who quibbled over being labeled that way. She said, “While it’s true I get paid
by the screw, I work in Mumbai not Bombay.” Dish washer from Amarillo had pubes
the texture of Brillo. Though she made quite a scene, she got the plates really
clean and gave the waiter a thrill. Oh! Smilingly Sue said, over minces, “The
feeling of packing ten inches must be like squeezing your feet into a pair of
cute shoes that don’t fit -- so tight that it pinches!” Said I, “Oh, size tens!
Rather a bore if compared to my wee four.” Sue smiled (no pleasure in it, till
she learned I’m measuring it “from the tip” I told her “to the floor”). A
prison scholar was subtly candid as his fellows he Homerically branded; one
boomerang con he dubbed Rosy-Fingered Don ‘cause he was caught so often
red-handed. A persistent narcissist from Tacoma would diddle himself into
comas. Though warned he’d go blind, he had it in mind to stop when he got to
glaucoma. One disgruntled lover of Venus rubbed down to a nubbin his penis. The
goddess said, “Friend! We’ve come to the end of the source of the friction
between us.”
--Duane Vorhees
--Duane Vorhees
In 1772 Johann Elert Bode added a footnote to the 2nd edition of his "Anleitung zur Kenntniss des gestirnten Himmels" (Manual for Knowing the Starry Sky), which noted "the astonishing relation which the known six planets observe in their distances from the Sun. Let the distance from the Sun to Saturn be taken as 100, then Mercury is separated by 4 such parts from the Sun. Venus is 4+3=7. The Earth 4+6=10. Mars 4+12=16. Now comes a gap in this so orderly progression. After Mars there follows a space of 4+24=28 parts, in which no planet has yet been seen. Can one believe that the Founder of the universe had left this space empty? Certainly not. From here we come to the distance of Jupiter by 4+48=52 parts, and finally to that of Saturn by 4+96=100 parts." In other words, extending outward, each planet would be approximately twice as far from the sun as the one before. This became known as Bode's Law, but in 1764 Johann Daniel Titius added 2 paragraphs to his translation of Charles Bonnet's 1764 "Contemplation de la Nature" which made essentially the same point, so sometimes it is known as The Titius–Bode law. The discovery of Uranus in 1781, where Bode suggested it would be found, led to renewed interest in the law, and of Ceres, the largest object in the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter, in 1801 seemed to confirm its accuracy; it was a widespread assumption that the asteroid belt itself was the remnants of a destroyed planet. However, Johann Gottfried Galle's discovery of Neptune in 1846 did not conform to the progression, and Bode's Law was discredited. (Pluto was discovered in 1930, where Neptune should have been, but the objects in the Kuiper belt, 1st located beyond Neptune in 1992, also do not conform; the discovery of its largest member, Eris, in 2005, 27% more massive than Pluto, led to the removal of Pluto from the "planet" category and the creation of a new category of "dwarf planets." Eris also does not conform to Bode's prediction.)
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