Wednesday, March 18, 2020

Don Beukes writes

richard the first

At the dawn of my primary education, you were the first aggresso  rumoured about – New classmates whispered about your plots and merciless tyranny on unexpected new arrivals. I tried to dismiss your legendary fist fearing to resist your toxic influence but then you failed a year and I found myself too near to your dagger smile veneer, slowly tasting my creeping dreaded fear.

You smiled at me once but I was not going to take any chance in order to avoid reactory revenge – It started unexpectedly you, sitting behind me slapping my head repeatedly with your disciple jonathan cruelly giggling like a drunk brainwashed gargoyle beside you – Me, inwardly screaming for rescue from my ignorant teacher whilst shaking from a hopeless emotional seizure.

Do you realise how you humiliated me disrespected me mocked me dehumanised me belittled me, bullied me? You carried on until I rebelled unexpectedly, after a long while hiding my lonely shame and humiliation game from family and friends – Your daily morning taunting, flicking my ear from behind bashing your fist on the back of my head resulting in my sudden existential revolt, my desperate resolve as I punched you unexpectedly – Filled with white blind hot rage to defend myself, to finally stand up for myself, to save myself.

I knew instantly that I have sealed my fate, as you hissed your spitting shameful hate for my daring rebellion – My  inevitable demise to be realised during first break, your last vengeful act. Only I could hear your warning whisper, your tongue breathing fire into my soul. You waited until everyone ran down the stairs – Your salivating gargoyle blocking curious stares as you kicked me in my eye as I silently cried tears of blood, nowhere to hide – As I sat there swimming in despair Mark found me, consoled me, calmed me. He understood my shame my hidden familiar pain...

I heard decades later of your death – Your reputation fried as I removed you from my memory and bound by my faith to forgive you, even though you were so cruel. You made my school days hell but I survived and no more your bullying victim as I have found peace in my inner sanctum... 
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