Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Jake Cosmos Aller writes

coffee 


Hot as hell, heavenly sweet
My daily hot coffee fix
Sends Me to Heaven then Crashes into Hell

SNARLING, SASSY, SNARKY, SMARMY, SARCASTIC COFFEE THOUGHTS

I like to start my day with a hot cup of coffee
I pound down the coffee
First thing I do every day as the dawning sun light
Lights up my lonesome room

Yeah, but not just a simple cup of java Joe, but God damn coffee

I mean, - we are talking about a snarling, sassy, snarky, smarmy, silly, stupid, sadistic, sad, happy, euphoric, high as a kite, sarcastic, satanic, divine, sexy, sweet as honey, growling, gnarly, Cowabunga, mean old rotten, angry, vengeful, jealous, smelly, malodorous, wicked, nasty, bitchy, rich, expensive, kick my god damn ass to Tuesday, kick down the doors and take no prisoners, kiss ass, evil, nuclear, narcotic, alcoholic, hot as hell yet strangely sweet as heaven, lovely, delicious, bitter, smooth, silky, hard as ice, divinely inspired, jazzy, hip happy, rapping, rhyming, beats breaking, rock and roll up the Yazoo, bombs away, all speed ahead, spendific, speeding, beatnik, hippie, pontific, politically aware, communistic and capitalistic, bluesy, soulful, God in the cup, Jesus, Allah and Mohammed, Buddhist, Hindu, Christian, Taoist, Zoroastrian, Sai Babai, Ganesh, Rama, Shiva, Kali, Durga, Cthulhu, trouble with a capital T, right here, right now in River city, devilishly angelic, crazy assed, wild, erotic vision inducing, pornographic, graphic, insane, psychotic, paranoid, WOW good to the last god damn drop - rolled into one simple cup of hot coffee
As I pound down that first cup of coffee
And fire up my synaptic nerve endings with endless supplies
Of caffeine induced neuron enhancing chemicals
I face the dawning day with trepidation and mind numbing fear

I turn on the TV and watch the smarmy newscasters in their perfect hair
Lying through their teeth about the great success the government is having
Following the great leader's latest pronouncements

I want to scream and shoot the TV
And run outside
Shouting "Stop the world. I want to get off this fucking crazy planet"
The earth does not care a whit about my attitude
It merely shrugs and moves around the Sun
In its appointed daily run

And I sit down
The madness dissipating a bit
And enjoy my second cup
Of heaven and hell
In my morning cup of Joe



ODE TO COFFEE


Mistress of sacred love
Sacred lady of desire

You start my day
Setting my heart on fire
With your dark delicious flavor

And throughout the day
Whenever the mean old blues come by
You chase them away
With your bitter sweet ambrosial brew

Every time I inhale your witches' brew
I am filled with power, light and love
And everything is all right Jack
If only for a few fleeting minutes

I love you oh coffee goddess
In all your magical forms

In the dark coffee of the dawning day
In the sizzling coffee in the mid morning break
In the afternoon siesta break
And in the post dinner dessert drink

I love you my coffee mistress
You are my refuge
From this horrid world

And you are my secret lover
Never disappoint me, ever
I've never had a bad cup
Of that I can be sure

Even the dismal coffee
Served at Denny's at 3 am
Is still sweet loving coffee

Even the farmer brother's diner coffee
Excites me and gets me going
Asking for another cup of divine delight

Coffee always is there
It is always on and piping hot
With hidden dark secrets
Swirling in its liquid essence

Coffee is my last vice
My only legal vice left

Coffee does not cheat on me
It is always faithful, always true
It does not turn on its friends

And all it asks in return
Is that you come back
Cup after cup after cup

A good cup of coffee
Is a little bit of heaven
In a cup of dark liquid hell

Coffee is like a drug
But a good drug that does what is should
And never complains

It does not get grouchy
It does not hurt you

It does not make you crazy
But allows the muse to come out
And play with it

Coffee led to the American Revolution
As patriots drank coffee
To rebel against the aristocratic English tea

Coffee started the London Stock Market
And started the gossip mills running

Every great invention
Was fed by coffee's sweet brew sweet allure
All the great thinkers
All the great leaders
All were enslaved to coffee's magic

Yeah
I sing my praises
Of the great glorious coffee lady

Long may she continue
To be my sweet companion

Long may coffee continue
To rule my heart
And set my heart on fire

I love thee
Mistress coffee
And sometimes I think
You love me too




Dream 1196 No More Coffee Blues


I love coffee
Always have

And coffee has loved me back
But lately I have soured on her
Soured on the whole coffee scene

On the harshness of the morning brew
And the promises it makes

As I sip of its nectar
Drawn into its lair

Drinking drop by drop
As the caffeine takes over

Rewriting my every nerve
Turning me into a slave
For its perverted pleasure

Yes I love coffee
But I am afraid

Coffee is a harsh mistress
Demanding so much of me

Promising the sun
And delivering the Moon

As I drink her swill
Deepening under her influence

I have the coffee blues
Can’t live without her
Can’t live with her

I try
But tea does not cut it
Not really

Booze does not do it
At least not in the morning

Yoga is not enough of a buzz
Nor is the runner’s high

And I am afraid deadly afraid of cocaine
And speed and drugs and energy drinks

And so I remain a slave to coffee
My only legal drug

As I sip another and fall under her seductive spread
Once more failing in my resolve

To skip coffee for that day
That morning that moment

I shall never be free of her spell
Ever and she knows it

As she beckons me
Every morning with her intoxicating smell

And I come to her and drink her brew
And become her slave again and again

5 comments:

  1. "Up the Yazoo" is a variant of the American expression "up the Wazoo," meaning "in large or excessive quantities, to disgusting excess." It may come from the French "oiseau" (bird) via the Louisiana Creole term, “razoo” (raspberry). The first two citations from the Oxford English Dictionary are a 1961 University of California, Berkeley publication (“Run it up yer ol’ wazoo!”) and a 1971 issue of "The Wall Street Journal" (“Golf itself is quite safe, the greatest risk being the possibility of a long drive plunking some poor fellow in the wazoo”). Other variants include "gazoo" (the first OED citation is from 1965) and "kazoo" (1973). As a slang term for the anus, "Wazoo" seems to be derived from the Pama-Nyungan (indigenous Australian) term for an animal's butt, particularly a kangaroo. The Washington State University (WSU, colloquially referred to as "Wazzu") is in Pullman, WA. The Yazoo is a river in Mississippi, formed by the confluence of the Tallahatchie and the Yalobusha rivers, and is popularly regarded as the southern boundary of the Mississippi Delta floodplain; in 1682 it was named the rivière des Yazous by René-Robert Cavelier, seur de La Salle, in reference to the Tunica-speaking tribe living near the river's mouth at its confluence with the Mississippi, and the French (and later Europeans) called the surrounding area of Mississippi and Alabama "he Yazoo lands." (Variant names include the Zazu , Yazous, or Yahshoo river, rivière des Yasoux, and Fiume del Yasous.

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  2. Jesus (Yeshua, "He saves") was a 1st century religious leader whom Chritians worship as an aspect of God (the Son of God). Allah is the Arabic name for God, particularly in Islam, the religion founded by Muhammad in the 7th century, but the term is also used by Bábists, Bahá'ís, Mizrahi Jews, and Arab, Indonesian, and Maltese Christians, as well as by Christians and Sikhs in West Malaysia. Buddhism is awide variety of traditions, beliefs, and spiritual practices based on teachings attributed to Siddhārtha Gautama of Nepal in the 6th (or maybe 5th) century BCE; before the Buddha was a figure of worship, the tradition was atheistic . Hinduism, often regarded as the world's oldest religion, was a fusion of various Indian religions and cultures that started to develop between 500 BCE and 300 CE, though many of its texts date back to 1500 BCE; the word is derived from the Sanskrit "Sindhu" (the Indus river) and originally referred to the people who lived beyond that river, not to a religion. Hinduism includes diverse spiritual ideas and traditions but has no ecclesiastical order, governing body, unquestionable religious authorities, prophets, or binding holy book; Hindus may be polytheistic, pantheistic, monotheistic, monistic, agnostic, atheistic, or humanist. The elephant-headed Ganesha is one of the most popular Hindu deities, who is worshipped by most sets regardless of affiliation as well as by Jains and Buddhists; he emerged as a distinct deity in the 4-5th centuries and was formally included among the five primary deities of Smartism (a Hindu denomination) in the 9th century. The Ganapatya identified him as the supreme deity. Shiva, the destroyer, is part of the Hindu trinity that includes Brahma and Vishnu, and within Shaivism is the supreme being. Rama was the 7th avatar of the Hindu god Vishnu, the personification of human virtues, and the principal figure in the "Ramayana," written in the 11th century by Valmiki; some Hindu sects regard gim as the supreme being, and he also plays a prominent role in Jainism. Kali is one of the principal goddesses in the Hindu Shaktist sect, but all of them are aspects of a single supreme goddess, Durga; as the consort of Shiva, she is often worshipped as the ultimate reality. Taoism is a religious, philosophical, and ritual Chinese tradition which emphasizes living in harmony with the Tao ("Way"). Its roots go back to the 4th century BCE or before, but its doctrines are derived mainly from the 6th-century BCE "Tao Te Ching," containing teachings attributed to Laozi, and the 4th-century BCE writings of Zhuangzi; in the 3rd century, in Shu (modern Sichuan), Taoism coalesced into a coherent tradition of religious organizations and orders of ritualists. Zoroastrianism's origins date to the 2nd millennium BCE but was codified by the Persian prophet Zarathushtra Spitama, who may have lived before 1000 BCE or in the 7th or 6th centuries BCE, when it became the official religion of the Iranianian empires and its subdivisions. Sai Baba was a 20th-century Indian nondenominational spiritual leader who was revered mainly by Muslims and Hindus, and he borrowed heaviy from both traditions. Cthulu was a cosmic entity created by American writer H. P. Lovecraft in 1928; one of the Great Old Ones, he was a gigantic "monster of vaguely anthropoid outline, but with an octopus-like head whose face was a mass of feelers, a scaly, rubbery-looking body, prodigious claws on hind and fore feet, and long, narrow wings behind;" merely looking at him would drive the viewer insane.

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  3. "The Music Man" was a 1957 Broadway musical by Meredith Willson; it won 5 Tony Awards, including Best Musical, and its cast album won the first Grammy Award for Best Musical Theater Album. It included the song, "Ya Got Trouble":

    Well, ya got trouble, my friend, right here,
    I say, trouble right here in River City.
    Why sure I'm a billiard player,
    Certainly mighty proud I say
    I'm always mighty proud to say it.
    I consider that the hours I spend
    With a cue in my hand are golden.
    Help you cultivate horse sense
    And a cool head and a keen eye.
    Did ya ever take and try to give
    An iron-clad leave to yourself
    From a three-rail billiard shot?
    But just as I say,
    It takes judgement, brains, and maturity to score
    In a baulk line game,
    I say that any boob can take
    And shove a ball in a pocket.
    And they call that sloth.

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  4. The first big step on the road
    To the depths of deg-ra-Day--
    I say, first, medicinal wine from a teaspoon,
    Then beer from a bottle.
    An' the next thing ya know,
    Your son is playin' for money
    In a pinch-back suit.
    And list'nin to some big out-a-town Jasper
    Hearin' him tell about horse-race gamblin'.
    Not a wholesome trottin' race, no!
    But a race where they set down right on the horse!
    Like to see some stuck-up jockey'boy
    Sittin' on Dan Patch? Make your blood boil?
    Well, I should say.
    Friends, let me tell you what I mean.
    You got one, two, three, four, five, six pockets in a table.
    Pockets that mark the diff'rence
    Between a gentlemen and a bum,
    With a capital "B,"
    And that rhymes with "P" and that stands for pool!
    And all week long your River City
    Youth'll be frittern away,
    I say your young men'll be frittern!
    Frittern away their noontime, suppertime, choretime too!
    Get the ball in the pocket,
    Never mind gittin' Dandelions pulled
    Or the screen door patched or the beefsteak pounded.
    Never mind pumpin' any water
    'Til your parents are caught with the Cistern empty
    On a Saturday night and that's trouble,
    Oh, yes we got lots and lots a' trouble.
    I'm thinkin' of the kids in the knickerbockers,
    Shirt-tail young ones, peekin' in the pool
    Hall window after school, ya got trouble, folks!
    Right here in River City.
    Trouble with a capital "T"
    And that rhymes with "P" and that stands for pool!
    Now, I know all you folks are the right kinda parents.
    I'm gonna be perfectly frank.
    Would ya like to know what kinda conversation goes
    On while they're loafin' around that Hall?
    They're tryin' out Bevo, tryin' out cubebs,
    Tryin' out Tailor Mades like Cigarette Fiends!
    And braggin' all about
    How they're gonna cover up a tell-tale breath with Sen-Sen.
    One fine night, they leave the pool hall,
    Headin' for the dance at the Arm'ry!
    Libertine men and Scarlet women!
    And Rag-time, shameless music
    That'll grab your son and your daughter
    With the arms of a jungle animal instinct!
    Mass-steria!
    Friends, the idle brain is the devil's playground!
    Trouble, oh we got trouble,
    Right here in River City!
    With a capital "T"
    That rhymes with "P"
    And that stands for Pool,
    That stands for pool.
    We've surely got trouble!
    Right here in River City,
    Right here!
    Gotta figure out a way
    To keep the young ones moral after school!
    Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble...
    Mothers of River City!
    Heed that warning before it's too late!
    Watch for the tell-tale sign of corruption!
    The minute your son leaves the house,
    Does he rebuckle his knickerbockers below the knee?
    Is there a nicotine stain on his index finger?
    A dime novel hidden in the corn crib?
    Is he starting to memorize jokes from Capt.
    Billy's Whiz Bang?
    Are certain words creeping into his conversation?
    Words like, like 'swell?"
    And 'so's your old man?"
    Well, if so my friends,
    Ya got trouble,
    Right here in River city!
    With a capital "T"
    And that rhymes with "P"
    And that stands for Pool.
    We've surely got trouble!
    Right here in River City!
    Remember the Maine, Plymouth Rock and the Golden Rule!
    Oh, we've got trouble.
    We're in terrible, terrible trouble.
    That game with the fifteen numbered balls is a devil's tool!
    Oh yes we got trouble, trouble, trouble!
    With a "T"! Gotta rhyme it with "P"!
    And that stands for Pool!!!

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  5. It wasn't until the 1400s that people learned they could roast coffee seeds to make a savory beverage. The Arabic word "qahuwa" originally referred to a kind of wine, but after it was banned by Muhammad the term was eventually transferred to coffee because of the similar rousing effect it induced; soon it became "kaweh" (strength, vigor). Mecca, worried about coffeehouses becoming political gatherings, closed them and banned the drink from 1512 to 1524. The beverage reached Istanbul by 1555, and the Venetians introduced "caveé" to Europe by 1570. The first coffeehouse opened in Venice in 1629. The first English coffeehouse was set up in Oxford in 1652, and London got its first one in 1654. By 1675, more than 3,000 coffeehouses existed in England, with 2,000 of them in London, and, as in Mecca, they became popular places to debate and disseminate the news. The coffeehouses were great social levellers, open to all men and indifferent to social status, and as a result became associated with equality and republicanism. Charles II tried to suppress the London coffeehouses as "places where the disaffected met, and spread scandalous reports concerning the conduct of His Majesty and his Ministers." For several decades following the Stuart Restoration, the Wits gathered around John Dryden at Will's Coffee House, in Russell Street, Covent Garden. Lloyd's of London was founded by Edward Lloyd at his coffee house on Tower Street in 1688. A decade later John Castaing used Jonathan's Coffee-House in Change Alley to post the prices of stocks and commodities, London's first systematic exchange of securities. That year, other dealers, expelled from the Royal Exchange for rowdiness, migrated to Jonathan's. (It was destroyed by fire in 1748 but rebuilt. In 1761, 150 brokers and jobbers formed a club there to trade stocks; the club constructed New Jonathan's in 1773, but it was renamed the Stock Exchange.) In 1702, relying on information gleaned from his customers, Lloyd started "Lloyd's News," which ran 76 issues before he stopped publication in order to avoid paying due to a brief mention of the House of Lords, but he revived it in 1726 as "Lloyd's List. Fueled largely by the coffeehouse patrons, Daniel Defoe began a weekly "Review" in 1704, followed by Richard Steele's "Tatler" in 1709 and Steele and Joseph Addison's "Spectator" in 1711; these literary journals were forced out of business by a 1712 tax on newspapers. "The Examiner" started in 1710 as the chief Conservative political mouthpiece, and Jonathan Swift had control over it until he became dean of St. Patrick's Cathedral in Dublin. In the 1720s Antoine François Prévost d'Exiles praised coffeehouses ("where you have the right to read all the papers for and against the government") as the "seats of English liberty." By then, there were 12 London newspapers and 24 provincial papers. The first American coffeehouse was established in Boston in 1676, but American preference for tea remained strong. However, in protest against the Tea Tax, Americans raided British ships in 1774 and threw crates of tea into Boston harbor. Six months after that "Boston Tea Party," future president John Adams wrote to his wife, "When I first came to this House it was late in the Afternoon, and I had ridden 35 miles at least. 'Madam' said I to Mrs. Huston, 'is it lawfull for a weary Traveller to refresh himself with a Dish of Tea provided it has been honestly smuggled, or paid no Duties?' 'No sir, said she, we have renounced all Tea in this Place. I cant make Tea, but He will make you Coffee. Accordingly I have drank Coffee every Afternoon since, and have borne it very well. Tea must be universally renounced. I must be weaned, and the sooner, the better."

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