Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Jake Cosmos Aller writes


GOD SPEAKS TO ME IN A BAR


One day while I was sipping a beer 
In a God forsaken bar 
Heading to Hell just as fast as I could drink it down


Twenty drinks too sober 
On the dismal wrong end 
Of a Friday Night booze run

While I was half listening to some righteous
Funkified new age music 
With a cosmic beat

And some bad assed ghetto attitude
Leaking out from the mellowness 
It proclaimed the lie

God came up to me in that bar
I did not know him 
From Adam 

He looked like any other
Jesus god crazed bum 
Looking for a handout

And peddling a little salvation
On the side 
For his benighted soul

Just another god crazed
Loser dude 
Too much acid in the past

No brain cells left
Nothing but Jesus will 
Save his cosmic butt

So I blew off 
The god dude 
Told him off

I did not want  
No salvation crap

To interfere 
With my beer

My new age crap music 
And my vision of carnal delight

Waiting for me Next door 
In the next dismal strip club 
On the wrong edge of society

Dancing naked 
Waiting for me

And every other loser dude 
To drop by 
And see her in her naked glory

I told God 
Make an appointment

My people will get in touch 
With your people

We do lunch some day, dig

God looks at me  
And says 

God don't do no lunch, dude 
Don't you know

Who the Jesus I am? 
Insect, maggot?

No, I said 
I don't know your royal butt 
From Adam, Sir

God is getting angry 
He yells

I am God 
You drunken moron

I need you to pay 
Attention to me

I looked up 
At a 100 foot  
Burning bush

God's voice 
Is everywhere

Thunder and lighting 
Light up the sky

And I know 
I am dealing 
With the real deal

So I say, 
God, Dude 
What it is!

I did not know it was you 
I did not recognize you

God, mollified, 
Says

That is better 
Here's the deal

Judgment day is at hand 
I need an arrogant, tough 
Son of a bitch of a sinner

To help judge 
The good, the bad and the ugly

I need help 
In knowing where to send 
People to heaven or to hell

I say, God, Dude 
I believe I know

Where I am going 
Hell yes

So what do you 
Need me for

Your royal dudeship?


God replies  
Well, son

I need a man 
Who's been there

Done that 
Seen that

And knows in his heart
Whether a man

Can be redeemed
To join the celestial kingdom

So you see
I need 
Someone like you

Someone from the lowest
Depths of society

Someone who has sunk down
So low it looks like up to him

You dig, you capish? Araso?

Oh yeah, 
Dude, I do

And you got you man
Let's do it

Let's do this judgment day


Moses and the burning bush. Mosaic in the National Shrine of the ...

1 comment:

  1. The new-born Moshe ("Moses") was put into a basket by his Hebrew mother and set adrift on the Nile, but was rescued and adopted by the pharaoh's daughter and grew up with the Egyptian royal family. However, he murdered an Egyptian slavemaster and fled across the Red Sea to Midian, where, on Mt. Horeb, he encountered God speaking to him from within a "burning bush which was not consumed by the fire." (The Hebrew word is seneh, which refers in particular to "brambles.") The voice in the bush insists that he is Yahweh (from the Hebrew word hayah, meaning he who is he, or I am that I am.) When Moses acknowledges God, Yahweh appoints him as his spokesman and sends him to lead the Israelites out of Egypt to a land of milk and honey.

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