When I really want to feel some measure of control,
I write poetry. Poetry is shaped, while prose assumes the shape of the page.
Other than indents for dialogue and new paragraphs, prose follows the path set
by a document’s margins. We type and let the letters fall where they
will—because for essayists and fiction writers, the contours of a sentence are
often more of sound than sight. Prose writers are no less precise than poets,
but their words have different functions.
Yet when I say that I write poetry to feel in
control, I don’t mean that I write poetry as an act of coercion or
prescription. I have a feeling where my poems might go, but I also have a
feeling where most of my days might go. I am usually surprised by both.
While
I’m skeptical that poetry will save us, I’ve felt compelled to write
poetry again in the past year as a stay against the daily conflagration of
argument and noise. Poetry is a salve against the digital exhortation to be
constantly engaged in the digital world. I do think poetry and prayer have much
in common, but I think good prayer is kenotic; an emptying of self, the hope to
be better in how we treat others.
Writing poetry is a return to the self. A claiming
of space and soul. An affirmation of worth. Poetry as a momentary stay against
confusion.
Now I write essays … but my first two books were
collections of poetry. Those books feel like part of a past life. They were
written before my daughters were born. The economics of poetry are unforgiving.
Poetry is a place of no deadlines. A place of searching. It is also a world of
little remuneration. It is romantic to think that such a thing does not matter.
But it does.
The writing life is a succession of different acts,
with their own failures and conflicts and moments of joy. To live as a writer
means to embrace, and perhaps be inspired by, these different seasons.
Nostalgia shouldn’t stop us from moving forward, but if we’ve opened a window
years before, there was probably a good reason.
Writing poetry is an act of ordering our thoughts
and perceptions into lines and sections. By focusing on a form of writing that
embraces structure and selection, we can participate in a daily examen of sorts -- and
whether that poetry is ever published is not really the point. There are
greater rewards.
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