Oh What a
Tangled Web We Weave
I was tired, beat down, and weary when I finally
decided to make the short
pilgrimage from my frameless bed into the man cave for another round of the
next happy hour.
My wife of 17 years had slipped out and gone to another work function, one of her supervisors had decided to leap frog into another state other than Florida.
He would have a white collar send off, with all the same old pomp and circumstance; there was greener grass in Virginia, more money in them there hills!
My wife’s soon to be former boss will still work at the same fucking place, just a different locale you see?
But whatever, that’s her life, attending snazzy farewell parties, and the like.
My life’s here at home with my two ASD children and my ASD self; drinking beer in the cave, while I shoot the shit with my dogs, in my blue collar southern drawl.
By the way, I am drinking, but I have a nanny watching over my two special little angels, she’s a 54 year old Scottish woman that migrated here to Mercia, with her Mercian Air Force husband back in '95.
Yes, I background checked her, she’s not an axe murderer, not that the FBI’s James Comey knows of anyway.
But anyway
The Scottish nanny’s husband left her for a Hungarian man, half his age; met him on social media and fucking eloped all the way to Norway to be with him.
Wow its 7:00 PM! I would have fallen into a coma if not for the dirt bikes and ATV’s swarming off in the distance, like flies around a cow’s ass at a Trump rally in Alabama.
Annngggzzzz! Annngggzzzz! Buuuzzzz!
Every Friday and Saturday evening at precisely the same time 7:00 pm!
It’s the same old shit, different weekend.
Annngggzzzz! Annngggzzzz! Buuuzzzz!
Fuck, let me pop the top on my first can of liquid sanity, I worked hard for this cheap beer swill, so if you would, turn the page and leave me to it.
My wife of 17 years had slipped out and gone to another work function, one of her supervisors had decided to leap frog into another state other than Florida.
He would have a white collar send off, with all the same old pomp and circumstance; there was greener grass in Virginia, more money in them there hills!
My wife’s soon to be former boss will still work at the same fucking place, just a different locale you see?
But whatever, that’s her life, attending snazzy farewell parties, and the like.
My life’s here at home with my two ASD children and my ASD self; drinking beer in the cave, while I shoot the shit with my dogs, in my blue collar southern drawl.
By the way, I am drinking, but I have a nanny watching over my two special little angels, she’s a 54 year old Scottish woman that migrated here to Mercia, with her Mercian Air Force husband back in '95.
Yes, I background checked her, she’s not an axe murderer, not that the FBI’s James Comey knows of anyway.
But anyway
The Scottish nanny’s husband left her for a Hungarian man, half his age; met him on social media and fucking eloped all the way to Norway to be with him.
Wow its 7:00 PM! I would have fallen into a coma if not for the dirt bikes and ATV’s swarming off in the distance, like flies around a cow’s ass at a Trump rally in Alabama.
Annngggzzzz! Annngggzzzz! Buuuzzzz!
Every Friday and Saturday evening at precisely the same time 7:00 pm!
It’s the same old shit, different weekend.
Annngggzzzz! Annngggzzzz! Buuuzzzz!
Fuck, let me pop the top on my first can of liquid sanity, I worked hard for this cheap beer swill, so if you would, turn the page and leave me to it.
Autism --Samadhi Rajakarunanayake
The title of Wayne's poem comes from Canto VI Stanza XVII of Sir Walter Scott's epic poem, "Marmion, A Tale of Flodden Field." Published in 1808, it was Scott's second major work, a fictional account about the 1513 battle of Flodden where the earl of Surrey, Thomas Howard (2nd duke of Norfolk and grandfather of two of Henry VIII's wives Anne Boleyn and Catherine Howard) defeated an invading Scots army under king James IV, who was slain in the battle; in terms of troop numbers, it was the largest battle fought between the English and Scots. Lord Marmion lusted after The poem tells how Lord Marmion, a favourite of Henry VIII of England, lusting for Clara de Clare, forged a letter that implicated her fiancé, Sir Ralph De Wilton, in treason. De Wilton challenged Marmion to a duel to defend his honor against Marmion, lost, went into exile, then returned with evidence proving his innocence; but Marmion died at Flodden while De Wilton displays heroism, regained his honor, recovered his lands, and married Clara. The couplet, "Oh! what a tangled web we weave / When first we practise to deceive!" actually came from Publius Ovidius Naso's "Epistoloe Ex Ponto" ("Gulta cavat lapidem non vi sed saepe cadendo"), but since Scott's time was often quoted in reference to the complex destructive effect that lying tends to have on life and the difficulty of maintaining the fiction. Humorist J. R. Pope wryly expanded on the topic in "A Word of Encouragement": "Oh, what a tangled web we weave / When first we practice to deceive / But when we've practiced for a while / How vastly we improve our style!"
ReplyDeleteASD (autism spectrum disorder) is a range of conditions classified as neurodevelopmental disorders that include deficits in social communication and social interaction and restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests or activities.
An ATV (all-terrain vehicle, also known as a quad, quad bike, three-wheeler, four-wheeler, or quadricycle) is a vehicle that is designed to handle a wider variety of terrain than most other vehicles via extra wheels for more stability at slower speeds, low-pressure tires, a seat that is straddled by the operator, and a handlebar for steering.